Hello! Is it me you’re looking for?

No? I didn’t miss you either.

It has been a long time since I added anything to my miserable blog and I am sure you are dying to learn what world event has made me so furious that I am crawling back on my hands and knees but do not fear! The answers will soon come.

It’s a new year, fuck, a new decade. I am now at the age in which anyone born in the 90’s is a child and subsequently their opinions do not matter. I am turning slowly into an old man and I have no doubt that this blog will soon be over flowing again with complaints and self indulgent monaing that will not only change nothing, but will only serve to alienate me further from the rest of the world.

I did nothing of interest for Christmas, nothing at all for new years day and I still feel that I experienced it as much as I could. I got drunk at Christmas and I kept an eye on the clock during everyone else’s new years eve celebrations, that’s all that is required of me.

Is anyone still reading this? Who cares! Let’s get down to business and discover what has fucked me off enough to bring me back.

Could it be the global economic down turn? No, I had no money anyway so I didn’t see much difference.

Could it be the fascist BNP claiming that they were victimised on Question Time? No, that was just funny. It’s nice to see idiots being ridiculed on national TV in a straight up way, instead of wrapping it up like some sort of competition.

Could it be the wave of Christmas complaining about referring to it as ‘The Holiday Season’ instead? No, if that’s all people have left to live for then go for it.

However, the one thing that so far has annoyed me more than usual is….the Oxford English Dictionary adding the Phrase ‘Simples’ to it’s list of future additions.

I don’t really have to explain as to why I find this annoying, it’s not only annoying, it’s moronic. I don’t want the english language dumbing itself down anymore than it already has.

I want to read the dictionary and find the definition for ‘Breasts’ or ‘Erection’ and then have a self satisfied, childish chuckle, I DO NOT want to find anymore slang and gibberish in there! It’s full to the brim as it is!!

Happy new year. Dick.